Authenticity

There is much talk today about being “woke”. The right uses it as a derogatory slur in attack of liberal values. The left embraces the slur as a compliment related to awakening to the systemic injustices in our culture. Although systemic injustice are important to be aware of, awakening is so much more. Like getting out of bed in the morning, awakening is an everyday and ongoing event. 

Awakening begins when we start to question our perceptions of reality,  our worldview – family perspectives, educational conditioning, social norms, religious beliefs, cultural version of history… Awakening continues as we explore our feelings and unmet needs – the internal and relational effect of our past. An awakened life embraces the exploration of the triggers that we react to, the letting go of blame and shame, the consideration of deeper issues than what is on the surface.

Awakening moves us from the biased conditioning of our mind to the authenticity of our heart. It moves from separation to connection, from competition to cooperation, from judgment to empathy,  to the rule of acceptance and compassion.

Awakening opens us to explore the wounds of our past, the losses we experienced, the patterns we developed, the projections of our pain onto others.

I completely embrace the woke culture, only as it questions everything… and moves us from the deception of our conditioning to a fully awakened  heart.

Consider your world view and how it has evolved over time. Consider how you have embraced reevaluating assumption and belief. Consider the joys and difficulting of waking up. Consider areas that still need exploration.

Cultivating Awareness and Practicing Presence

I started my journey in mindful awareness over 30 years ago. I came to the realization that so much of my life was driven by fears and expectations rooted in my history and that of my ancestors. I realized my need to embark on this journey if I hoped to have fulfilling relationships. I also realized my need to have some sense of interpersonal awareness related to those around me.

Awareness is holistic in nature. It takes account of issues related to body, mind, and spirit along with concerns related to the environment we live in. It begins with self and moves out into our family, community, and world.

Self awareness is a prerequisite for collaboration, and interpersonal awareness is a prerequisite for co-creative synergy. Self awareness requires the attitude of an observer – the ability to step back and observe without evaluation. It requires an inner journey to explore beliefs, emotions, intentions, assumptions, perceptions, needs, motivation… It also requires an orientation to explore the inner world of others without judgment.

Interpersonal awareness requires self disclosure and clear expectations. It requires disclosure of each others inner world, along with clarity of the relationship and outcomes we desire. It require co-creative design for the relationship container that holds our collaborative efforts. Interpersonal awareness also requires understanding of the control issues and dysfunctional patterns we easily gravitate toward in conflict.

The Drama Triangle is a model that well describes that dysfunctional dynamic. In conflict, we can easily get trapped in the role of victim, persecutor, or rescuer. We have a long history, illustrated in religion and fairy tales, where humans have been relegated to these roles. It is these patterns, along with our need for control, that challenge our personal and collaborative awareness. The Empowerment Dynamic provides a closer look at the Drama triangle and an alternative model for reorientation.

Cultivating Awareness

The practice of mindfulness meditation has been shown throughout history to increase awareness. Mindful awareness is the simple practice of focusing our attention to the present moment. It offers an opportunity to remove ourselves from the busyness of life and the constant evaluation and judgment of our minds, and to reorient ourselves as an observer.

Studies in brain science have indicated that the practice of mindful awareness helps facilitate a shift in cognitive and behavioral patterns. HeartMath is a type of mindfulness practice that turns our attention to heart felt emotions. Studies at the Institute of HeartMath have indicated the connection of positive emotional energy necessary to create heart/brain coherence,