A Co•Creative Path

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The Gift of Attention

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Too often, most of us live somewhere other than the only place and time we have – Here and Now. We live driven by the incessant chatter in our mind; in the memories, longings, and regrets from our past; or in the plans, hopes, and fears of the future. An authentic, connected, and purpose-full life demands pausing the chatter, gifting ourselves with attention in the here and now. 

We live in a culture that is filled with distraction, a gazillion things that keep our attention on the external and superficial. We are shaped by our conditioning and the deficit of subconscious needs. Most of us struggle with the demands of internal voices, have difficulty identifying feelings and needs, vacillate between blame and shame.. We are too often trapped in drama, the longing of unmet need, and the demands of the surrounding culture.

Self awareness is the foundation for a healthy psychology and authentic spirituality. The study of Emotional Intelligence places awareness as the key factor in healthy management of emotion and relationships.To be aware of our surroundings, our internal condition, and our relationships, without judgment, is essential to a heart directed life. It is the path to deepening authenticity, connection, and purpose. 

The study of neuroscience has shown that what we pay attention to shapes the  pathways of communication in our brain. What we pay attention to creates the patterns in our thinking, which then shapes our resulting behavior. Without adequate attention, our brain can be shaped  by emotional triggers and reactionary behavior. 

A growing self awareness requires a pause from endless demands and distractions of life, from the endless chatter of our minds, from the story and judgments that fill our days. Self awareness requires the space for observation without judgment, to notice “what is” without evaluation. The pursuit of awareness requires the gift of attention..

Don Miquel Ruiz Jr, in his book the Mastery of Awareness, identifies four areas for the focus of awareness as the foundational step on the path for  healing our wounds and transforming our story. 

  1. Physical Sensation
  2. Thoughts & Emotion
  3. Reaction & Story – triggers, judgments, defences
  4. Unique Perspective (Worldview)

Daniel J. Siegel MD, in his book Aware and accompanying workbook Becoming Aware, presents a Mindfulness practice using his Wheel of Awareness to pay attention to four primary areas for shifting our consciousness

  1. FIve Senses – hearing, sight, taste, smell, touch
  2. Body Sensation 
  3. Mental Activity – feelings, thoughts, memory
  4. Relational Connection

Resources

Wheel of Awareness

Aware by Daniel Siegel. MD and/or companion workbook Becoming Aware

Grounded in Gratitude

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Gratitude shifts our energy from past or future concerns to present appreciation of what is. It shifts our focus from scarcity to abundance, from what we don’t have to what we do, from the pursuit of more to the luxury of enough. Gratitude challenges entitlement in a culture where too much is never enough, and cultivates a sense of reciprocity in a world of abundance. 

Being grounded in an awareness of gratitude provides a foundation for a heart centered transition from what was to what will be. It establishes a foundation for a transformational shift of consciousness – the way we see ourselves, others, and the world around us. Gratitude provides a focus for creating the life we want, the intuitive access to follow your heart.

The HeartMath Institute has been studying the personal and relational effect of gratitude for over thirty years. Recognising that the heart contains neurons similar to the brain, they established scientific studies to explore what we intuitively refer to in the expression to “follow your heart”. Through the measurement of heart rate variability, brain waves, and the electromagnetic field, HeartMath has studied the communication between the heart and brain via the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. HeartMath studies have found that the practice of conscious breathing, along with mindful attention to feelings of appreciation and gratitude, establishes an internal coherence of alignment and harmony between the heart and brain, and has the potential to extend beyond the personal to affect relational and even global harmony. 

The Center of Appreciative Inquiry is another organization that has been studying the effect of gratitude and appreciation. Their work has especially focused on organizational development, and how placing attention on the positive aspects to build on rather than the negative problems to solve, has shown to significantly increase the potential of desired outcomes. Rather than fixing problems, focusing attention to build on what we appreciate provides a solution oriented approach. 

A daily practice of gratitude provides essential ingredients for personal, relational, and cultural transformation.

Resources:

Quick Coherence

Heart Intelligence

What is Appreciative Inquiry

Appreciative Living and/or companion workbook                        The Joy of Appreciative Living

Waking the Dreamer

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We live in the story we create, caught in the drama that shapes our identity, relationships, and life direction. We see things from the vantage point of our personal and collective conditioning. We invest our energy in identity based or cultural standards for acceptance and worth, along with the demands for security, comfort, and convenience. We relate through our defenses, expectations, and imagined perception of reality. We are driven by false security and the marketing  promise of success and happiness. 

Together, we share a collective story, which don Miguel Ruiz calls the “dream of the planet”. To a varying degree most of us accept our conditioned view of reality  as truth, with limited understanding of how it is affecting our path in life and the social system we find ourselves in. 

Our story begins in the comfort or discomfort of the womb that carried us, and continues in our early years as our parents passed along their story in words, emotion, and physical contact. These highly subjective early experiences provide the context in which we see ourselves and the world we live in. Our perceptions of reality are shaped by every input we receive throughout our lives, which are then stored in our brain, emotion, and body. Our parents’ emotional condition contributed to the nurture or neglect of our developing heart and brain. We began our life somewhere on the continuum of the comfort and security of our parents’ love and the pain and insecurity of their struggle. 

Our story continues as it is shaped by our basic needs for authenticity and connection. The provision for these  needs are limited by the unmet needs of our caretakers.  Our early sense of connection is based on our parents’ emotional maturity, and an authentic sense of self is too often hijacked for conformity to the beliefs and agreements that guide our parents’ lives. This story changes as we grow, every beneficial and adverse experience is recorded. Consciously or unconsciously, our story shapes our thinking, emotions, behaviors, and relationships.

Our agreements and beliefs, judgments and defenses, and sense of value and worth are established by the conditioning of our experiences and education. We establish attachment to security in a false sense of identity, along with physical and emotional comforts, that then turn into addictive life directing patterns. Our worldview and relational patterns become dominated by the patterns developed in childhood and reinforced in experiences throughout our lives. Most conflict, internal and relational, is rooted in conflicting perception and belief rather than fact.

Our brain and ego development, along with resulting emotional and social intelligence, often leaves us struggling with the prevailing cultural story of fear, scarcity and separation. We become disconnected from an authentic sense of self, our feelings and needs, our purpose and direction, and our relationship with others. 

Our evolving story is a movement from the innocence of a child’s heart to the perceived reality of a conditioned mind. The spiritual journey is unraveling the story in our mind to uncover the authenticity in our heart. It is the movement from the awareness of our ego shaped identity to the transformation and intent of the heart. 

Story is part of being human, ego identity is a normal part of development. The problem is “attachment” that creates a false sense of self / security to  exceptionalism / entitlement.. The challenge is to let go of the false and grieve the loss, and to reimagine and recreate from a heart level of authenticity, connection, and purpose the shaping of our story

Resources

The Four Agreements

The Four Agreement Online Course (free)

Kinship Circles

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“I see a time of seven generations when all the colors of mankind will gather under the sacred Tree of Life and the whole Earth will become one circle again.” – Crazy Horse

I believe a new culture is longing to emerge from the chaos of western civilization, an old culture rooted in the natural order and guided by indigenous Kinship values of belonging, cooperation, and reciprocity.

I hear many people, from young to old, express that they are looking for their tribe. I hear the need for belonging, a place and people where they feel safe and seen. I hear the loneliness and confusion of those raised in a culture of separation, a culture worshipping at the altar of individualism and gods created in images from our collective trauma.

Kinship Circles exists within the context of this emerging culture – at the intersection of personal, relational, and social transformation. The new culture reflects an ancient memory of fireside council and a longing for an unmet need for connection and harmony in our current chaos of separation, competition, and consumption. Kinship Circles support the recovery of and progress towards a collective story rooted in connection, where all of creation has a voice at the table.

Kinship Circles are an integral part of a cultural shift in consciousness and social change… the movement toward reconnection with our place as humans in the natural order, the movement toward recovery and healing of personal and collective trauma, the movement toward sovereignty and responsibility, the movement toward belonging, cooperation, and reciprocity.

“It is probable that the next Buddha will not take the form of an individual. The next Buddha may take the form of a community, a community practicing understanding and loving kindness, a community practicing mindful living. This may be the most important thing we can do for the survival of the earth.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Liminal Space

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Over the years, I have learned to appreciate the transitions of life as opportunities to pause and reflect. I appreciate the beginning of the week, the beginning of the year, the beginning of a decade and the beginning of a new season of life. I have also learned to appreciate the beginning and end of a project, disappointed goals and disruption of relationships, and the many other major and minor transitions that beg for me to pause and reflect on where I have been, where I am Now, and where I hope to go next in becoming aligned with my most authentic self and purpose in Life.

Liminal Space is the space between what was and what will be-come. It is the space that indigenous cultures provided for the “right of passage” from one stage of life to the next. It is the space that I invite you to explore on a CoCreative Path. It is the space to Pause & Reflect, to Be the Change

Pause & Reflect

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An Invitation

Taking the space to pause and reflect has helped me cultivate a contemplative heart centered approach to my life. In contemplation, I have been able to see more clearly my need and desire to grow in greater authenticity, connection, and purpose. I have been, and continue to be, able to find emotional healing, dismantle limiting beliefs and agreements, authentically relate to others, and reimagine my vision for the future.

I’d like to invite you to Pause & Reflect, to join me in a contemplation of the following reflections as I add them. Please reach out for more information on a guided journal with related practices, and/or for individual or group support on your journey.

Reflections:

  • The Gift of Attention
  • Grounded in Gratitude
  • Waking the Dreamer
  • The Truth Will Set You Free
  • Healing Lif’e Hurts
  • Recovery for Everyone
  • Roots of Disconnect
  • Radical Responsibility
  • The Art of Listening
  • Saying What’s Real
  • The Power of Intent
  • Starting with Why
  • The Economy of Gift
  • Pursuing Collaborative Awareness
  • The Foundation of Consent
  • The Opportunity of Conflict

Reflections

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Reflections is basically my Blog space, and randomly displays most of my posts. Some of these posts will also appear organizationally under other menu headings.

The drop down menu below are categories for the primary themes of A CoCreative Path. The posts contain reflections, agreements, and practices related to the values of Authenticity, Purpose, Connection, and CoCreation, in support of personal, relational, and cultural transformation.