“I salute the light within your eyes where the universe dwells – for when you are at that center within you and I am at that place within me, then we shall be as one.” Crazy Horse
Kinship Circles are built on clear intention and agreements. They include every voice and incorporate shared leadership.
The intention of Kinship Circles can be focused in a variety of ways to meet specific needs and interests, and designed to support the being, learning, and doing of our lives. The following are examples of circle focus:
Circle Intention
Starting with the purpose and mission of the circle, alignment of values and expectations are crucial for trust and intimacy. Clear agreements that everyone can affirm are vital to the success of the circle.
- Men, Women, Couples / Elders
- Intentional Community
- Neighborhood / Workplace
- Spirituality / Personal Growth
- Healing / Recovery / Grieving
- Exploring Vision / Mastermind
- Transitions / Next Chapter
- Social Change / Organizing
- Collaborative Projects
As a foundation to conscious agreements, I think The Four Agreements described by don Miguel Ruiz provide a great place to build from. From my perspective, The Four Agreements should be a requirement for Life 101 and certainly a prerequisite for any collective endeavor. The Four Agreements provide the foundation to challenge the agreements of our social conditioning, and to establish new agreements for more conscious and connected relationships.
The Four Agreements
- Be impeccable with your word
- Don’t take anything personally
- Don’t make assumptions
- Always do your best
Built on The Four Agreements, additional agreements can be developed specific to the intention and needs of the circle. Basic agreements include respect and honor, honest and compassionate communication, non-judgment and confidentiality. Foundational agreements for Kinship Circles are as follows.
Heart Circle – Agreements
The following agreements are adapted from the Heart Circle process in Waking Up – With Everyone Around Us by Tej Steiner.
- Being Clear Together: we agree to the purpose of the circle and to support each other in that intention
- Being Present Together: we agree to be present and centered in our time together
- Being Real Together: we agree to speak our truth with respect and compassion, asking for what we need and offering what we can
- Being Connected Together: we agree to listen deeply with curiosity and empathy, holding what we hear with respect and confidentiality
- Being Heart-Directed Together: We agree to support each other in finding and following what we want and need, giving advice only when asked for or with consent when offered
Way of Council – Intentions
The following four intentions are adapted from the Way of Council developed by the Ojai Foundation.
- Listen from the Heart: To listen with full presence, suspending judgment, opinions, and distractions. To witness the speaker’s truth with curiosity and compassion, holding stories with respect and confidentiality.
- Speak from the Heart: To share your personal truth using “I” statements, sharing feelings and experiences authentically. To take responsibility to ask for what we need and want. To refrain from rescue and advice, trusting the guidance that comes from the circle.
- Be of Lean Expression: To be concise and brief, focusing on the essence gf what we want to share. To respect time available, allowing space for others and sharing only what truly serves the moment, the circle, and the greater good.
- Be Spontaneous: To speak what arises in the present moment, rather than rehearsing or planning, trusting that the right words will come to serve the circle and yourself.